They Know You’re the Children’s Pastor Because…

They Know You're the Children's Pastor Because...
Sometimes it’s hard to hide the fact of who you are. Here are some telltale signs.
  • You have a helium tank in your office.
  • You keep your Sam’s Club card in front of your driver’s license.
  • The last time you made it to the adult service you tried to do the motions to a Toby Mac song.
  • Your summer begins when VBS ends.
  • Your version of Jesus’ first miracle has Him turning water into Kool Aid.
  • You once gave your spouse the quiet seat prize after dinner.
  • You rolled your eyes when the pastor told the congregation how much the choir members sacrifice to serve God.
  • You are starting to have meaningful conversations with your favorite puppet.
  • In the church foyer everyone runs when they see you coming for fear you’re trying to recruit them.
  • You’re afraid to close your eyes when you pray.
  • When people ask you how many children you have you tell them between 60 and 70.
  • You carry crackers in your pockets.
  • Your cracker and juice budget is bigger than your salary.
  • You buy everything in bulk.
  • You honesty believe you are only doing this temporarily until the church finds someone else.
  • You were stunned to learn that some scissors are pointed.
  • You once got stuck in the playground tube at McDonald’s.
  • You scotch-guarded your entire minivan.
  • The children’s workers are taking bets on how long you will last.
  • You once cut up your pajamas to build a flannel graph board.
  • You plan an event for 200 and 50 show up.
  • You plan an event for 50 and 200 show up.
  • You prefer a root canal to meeting with the church board.
  • You know how to pray for healing for dogs, cats and goldfish.
  • The Senior Pastor has forgotten your name.
  • You have forgotten the Senior Pastor’s name.
  • The church janitor won’t speak to you.
  • You understand the terms: tinkle, winkie tink, stinker, and TT
  • You’ve never heard a guest speaker at your church.
  • You went to a four star restaurant and requested gold fish crackers for dessert.
  • You once sat up straight in the middle of the night and yelled at the top of your lungs, “IS THE BIG SERVICE OUT YET?!!!!”
By | 2017-03-07T18:11:21+00:00 May 30th, 2014|Ministry Articles|0 Comments

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