Just having a little fun here. So, how many church staff members does it take to change a light bulb?


  • Lead Pastor: 0 (He never does anything himself)
  • Minister of Music: 11 (1 to change the bulb and 10 to guard the grand piano and sound equipment)
  • Associate Pastor: data not available (He didn’t know the light was out since he is always in the dark anyway)
  • Youth Pastor: 28 (1 to change the bulb and 19 to promote the fundraiser to buy the bulb and 8 to explain to angry parents why it was out during the youth lock-in)
  • Director of Children’s Ministries: 5 (1 to change the bulb and 4 to clean up the mess)
  • Church Secretary: 1 (and she will change it when she is good and ready)
  • Minister of Multimedia: 4 (1 to change the bulb and 3 to explain to the board why it had to be an expensive LED broadcast bulb)
  • Minister of Pastoral Care: 8 (1 to change the bulb and 7 to form a support group for those traumatized by the darkness)
  • Director of Maintenance: 2 (1 to guard the door and 1 to retrieve a bulb from his secret stash)
  • Church Administrator: 0 (Until the proper paperwork has been submitted and the spending freeze has been lifted there will be a ban on all light bulb purchases.)

Roger Fields