If Kidz Blitz ran the Olympics it would be…well…different.

There would be whole family events. Donuts and grits would be the official foods of the Olympics. The flag would include a mosquito and a jellyfish. A Children’s Paster would be the Master of Ceremonies. Here are seven competitions we would include if Kidz Blitz ran the Olympics:

1. FREESTYLE SNORKEL RELAY – Mixed relay with two men and two women. Swimmers race with mask, snorkel and flippers.

2. GREASED BALANCE BEAM – Grease the balance beam and place it across a pit. Allow sponsors to choose what goes in the pit. Example: Kellogg’s could fill the pit with Corn Flakes. Taco Bell might choose refried beans. Sponsorships like this could help offset Olympic expenses.

3. 10 METER BELLY FLOP – Men jump off platform. Must hit belly first. You could score this event 3 ways: wide splash or high splash or most bruised.

If Kidz Blitz ran the Olympics…

4. BLIND VOLLEYBALL – This is an old camp favorite. Drape some sheets over the net so neither team knows for sure where the ball is coming from.

5. BICYCLE BEAM RACE – Each competitor gets his own balance beam. Eight racers at once race to the end of their 40 meter beam.

6. DOWNHILL POLE VAULTING – This is my personal favorite. Athletes skateboard down a steep hill, jam the pole in the hole at the bottom and vault over the horizontal pole approximately 16 feet off the ground. Missing the hole would result in…poor performance.

7. 3-Legged Skiing – Like a 3-legged race, only on skis. What could go wrong?

And one more thing. After we play the National Anthem of the winner we would thank God for the ability to compete in the games then shoot toilet paper over the whole crowd with super-powered TP Bazookas.

What other games would be entertaining to play and watch?

Kidz Blitz game